Journal Archive
Welcome to the inside of my head!!!! My journal is a place where I let my thoughts off their leash and they get to run free. Unafraid of what others might think, feel, or say. Here I will be sharing with you everything that is important to me. That could be anything from the state of our beloved planet to my new favorite nail polish. Do your thoughts have a playground where they can let loose and be free? I invite you to "gift" yourself and your thoughts by keeping a journal. You never know what new and fun things you might find in there.Tomiko
2008-08-01
I pride myself on being an excellent communicator. Over the years, I have picked up communication skills that I feel have served me well.
I have learned to REALLY listen when someone is talking to me, instead of thinking about what I'm going to say next. I put myself in the other person's shoes if we are having a disagreement so that I can gain a better understanding of their position. Two of my favorite words are "honesty" and "clarity". That's how I roll.
I also consider myself a nice person. Not perfect, but nice. People generally like being around me. I care about others' well being. I hold the elevator for folks. I even try to limit my road rage.
But NONE of that mattered recently. All of the communication and niceness went out of the window when a belligerent man confronted me. Believe me, I tried to reason with this man. I kept calm in the face of expletives and gesturing. I did my best to NICE him into a constructive conversation. It didn't work.
What did work was me LOSING MY MIND! After several minutes of being nice to no avail, something in me snapped (that really does happen) and I was IN IT with him word for word and gesture for gesture. How did this happen? I'm nice!
That's what I've been mulling over these past few days. Not only was I very upset by this whole interaction, I was embarrassed because this all transpired in front of the Goddesses. How I am supposed to inspire empowerment in this amazing group of women when I lost all of my power during this confrontation? It really shook me up.
I have come to realize that nice people lose their minds too. It's as simple as that. I choose to no longer beat myself up for what happened. I choose to accept the colorful aspects of my being and all that they entail. Now, I am not excusing my behavior. But I am not holding myself prisoner to it either.
That's something I would encourage other women to do as well. We all make mistakes. We all do things we aren't proud of. But those things DO NOT define us. We define who we are. Even if we have to do it day by day, it's always up to us. Now that's empowered! : )
One quick side note - I have to send my heartfelt thanks to all of the Goddesses (new and not so new) who were there and held the sacred space of calm during all of this. The situation ended quickly and we were able to enjoy our Goddess Play Date. We maintained the loving vibration of the Gathering and for that I am so grateful.
Thank you Goddesses!
08/01/2008 20:53:07
Sometimes I wonder is it human nature for even the nicest of nice, calmest of calm to put up a guard, or defense mechanism when a man/woman is attacking us? I know that I have lost my cool a couple times especially with a major telephone company. I mean by the time you get through press, 9 then press 2 and 14 different numbers before I finally say can I have something with a pulse. Surprising the automated computer says "You would like to speak to a representative" Yes, about 10 minutes ago and 20 menu selections prior.
Like you stated no one is perfect- what a boring world it would be if we were- In addition my major of psychology probably would not be available. :)Everyone takes each challenge, or mistake and grows from them- it defines who we are.
Thank you Tomiko- and all the beautiful Goddesses for sharing their stories-
D~
08/05/2008 04:15:15
Being the mother of 2 small children ages 2 and 4, I can definitely say that I have lost my mind more often then I would like. Remaining calm and grounded and filled with love and compassion isn't easy in the best of circumstances. I know that for myself, the only way to cope sometimes is to look into my daughter's eyes and tell her that "I" am going to take a time out. As long as I know that my house is child-proofed, I will go sit in my garden for as long as it takes to regain my cool.
Being a leader of women, a leader of your own children, or a voice in your community is a great honor and responsibility. It is not losing your mind that has the impact, it is most certainly how you handle it. You will always come to places in your life where you will be challenged, and you will make perhaps less graceful decisions than you would like. I have to believe that forgiving yourself and acknowledging your mistakes with grace is more powerful then anything else. For who can stay grounded at all times in this world we navigate? And how else can you inspire others except through your handling of common situations?
Thank you Tomiko for all you are doing. I love the Goddess Gathering, and some day perhaps will be able to make it to a Play Date. Until then, I am with all of the Goddesses out there in spirit.
Love,
M~