Once a month, I will feature a Goddess who exemplifies what it means to be an empowered woman in her own unique way. Her story will inspire and guide you as you learn to unearth your own inner Goddess.

2008-11-16

Shneequa & Tomiko

This month, I have chosen to nominate my sister, Shneequa, for the Goddess Spotlight. As many of you know, Shneequa has battled lupus since 1997. Shneequa's lupus has affected her brain and she functions at a very debilitated mental level. While she can do minor tasks, like dress herself and braid her hair, she has lost her memory and has the mental capacity of a very young child.

For the past several weeks, Shneequa has been hospitalized due to complications with her lupus. What started out as a host of treatable ailments has escalated into excess fluid on her brain that required emergency surgery. She was in the Intensive Care Unit for over a week. But my sister is a fighter and she rapidly improved. The entire I.C.U. staff were very surprised and impressed with how well she was healing. Needless to say, my family and I were elated.

After almost 2 months in the hospital, her condition fluctuates. One day, she is communicating and active, the next she is lethargic and unresponsive. Right now, she is not doing well. We remain prayerful that she will continue to heal.

I wanted to nominate my sister because she represents what life is all about. She has experienced it all. The good, the bad and the downright ugly. But, no matter what Shneequa was going through, she fought. She's always been the brave one. While I was afraid to break the rules, I think Shneequa took every opportunity to do so. She was the "bad" one according to our mother. She was troublesome in school, ran with a questionable crowd, was a teenage mother, worked in some seedy environments, and distanced herself from our family at one point. Yet, she always managed to bounce back and keep her head above water. She always managed to find her way out of the dark. She refused to be knocked down by life.

My sister and I are a little less than 3 years apart. As the firstborn, it was my responsibility to look after her. I hated that job. Shneequa was a pain in my ass, but I had to take care of her. I was the big sister. Our mother dressed us alike, but we couldn't have been more different. I wouldn't appreciate those differences until I was an adult. Looking back, I realize now that my sister was dancing to her own drum. Something that I've just begun to do, she was doing years ago. She didn't let family or society dictate how she should live her life, she chose for herself. As I sit here in her hospital room praying that she'll recover, I am smiling at the memories of that "bad" little girl.

I don't know what the future holds for Shneequa. I have asked myself over and over again why all of this had to happen to her. I have come to realize that I may never get an answer to that question. But, I do know that she is here on this planet to teach us a lesson. The lessons that she's taught me are:

1. Get up when life knocks you down
2. I am the one that defines who I am. No one else but me.
3. It's fun to break the rules sometimes
4. Live life fullly
5. Don't let folks push you around
6. Try new and different things just for the hell of it
7. We are stronger than we think we are
8. We are all a miracle and are capable of miraculous things
9. Let the little girl inside of you out to play often
10. Family isn't only the ones who share your bloodline. Friends can be family too.

And there's so much more that my little sister has shown me. I'm sad that she is sick. I am scared that she might die. I am exhausted from having cared for her for all of these years. But I am so blessed to have shared this time with her. All of it. I have learned from all of it it.

That's why I am nominating my sister for the Goddess Spotlight. Because a Goddess not only teaches with words, but also by example. Shneequa, because of the example she has been on how to live life, is a Goddess.

Please keep my sister in your prayers. She, my family and I thank you for your support.

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